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mermaidcamp

Keeping current in wellness, in and out of the water

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George Harvey Taylor, Suicide Victim

August 23, 2013 — 3 Comments

George Harvey Taylor

George Harvey Taylor

I have found a true treasure today as I prepared to write this post about my grandfather, George Harvey Taylor.  Somebody has placed his photo on Ancestry.com. I instantly knew it was he because he strongly resembles his children, one of my uncles in particular.  This is the first time I have seen his image.  He committed suicide ten years before I was born, and for at least the first ten years of my life he was never mentioned.  I am not sure how old I was when I learned from a cousin that he had killed himself at home at night, his youngest son discovering the body in the morning.  It shocked me out of my wits.  It still does.  The tightly held secret probably had some initial seed of the suicide of one of my cousins in about 1970.

George Harvey Taylor (1884 – 1941)
is my maternal grandfather
Ruby Lee Taylor (1922 – 2008)
daughter of George Harvey Taylor
Pamela Morse
I am the daughter of Ruby Lee Taylor

George Harvey was born in Texas in 1884 to parents who had moved there from Selma, Taledega to be precise, Alabama, after the Civil War.  He met his wife, Hattie May Long, who had been adopted in Mississippi during or shortly after the war.  Her adopted parents, the Longs, brought Hattie May with them to Texas, but seem to have left her brother, Fidel,  back in Mississippi.  After George and Hattie married they moved to Humble, TX, where George was a meter reader for Texaco on a very large oil lease.  He rode a black horse around the lease and read various meters to document production.  They had ten living children;Hattie lost a couple of pregnancies; then Hattie May died in childbirth, along with the baby….at home, in 1932. George Harvey was left to raise ten kids, the youngest being only two years of age.

grave in Waller TX

grave in Waller TX

When my mother was near death and demented I asked about her father’s suicide and how she felt.  She was not in the house that morning, but had gone to Houston to visit her sister.   She said she was very angry at him; the reason given was that the lady next door turned down his proposal of marriage.  He had carried on as a single father for 9 years and was severely depressed, I suppose.  Suicide often leaves the family ashamed like my mother’s religious family.  The taboo subject has strange and subtle effects on those who are left on earth.  I know that it shaped my mother’s view of life.

Please join me in raising awareness and hopefully some funding for IAMalive.org. during suicide prevention week, Sept8-14, 2013.  This 24 hour hot line is created to help people like my grandpa make it through an irrational moment of fear and loathing.  This issue belongs to all of us.  You can find the easy donation bottom here, along with a list of thank you gifts.  My grandpa George and I thank you as well.

Memory Therapy

August 22, 2013 — 3 Comments

forsythia

forsythia

One week from today I will be visiting the town near Pittsburgh where I grew up and went to school through 8th grade.  I have not been there for almost 50 years, so things will be different…and yet the same.  I tune in to the daily tweets of @thomasmooreSoul because I find them to be just the right amount of therapy for a single day.  A long time ago he tweeted that talking about your childhood openly, telling stories you remember, is a great way to make sense of the past.  I have been exchanging pictures and comments with some of the former classmates for about 4 months now, as we prepare to meet in Oakmont, PA for their (I was already gone) high school reunion.  I can say that Tom’s advice about childhood stories is powerful.  Each one of us remembers different parts of our class  story;  I am sure being physically in our old school will spark some memories we have not discovered.  There is something unaltered about all our personalities that I can’t put into words, but next week maybe I will.

Before we all get hauled off to the memory wing of some care home we have the opportunity to get together to reminisce about our seriously good old days.  A few of us are already gone, naturally.  Such is life.  It ends.  I look forward to stirring up some memory/emotions from my childhood with the classmates with whom I shared them.  I have travelled the world, but this is time travel in a sense.  I am not sure what kind of deeper meaning will be revealed, but I expect it will be more helpful to my psyche than years of analysis might be  (I am too thrifty to find out).  Buckle up, gentle readers, and prepare to time travel with me to the ‘Burgh next week…back to the future.

Suicide Prevention

August 22, 2013 — 4 Comments

Everything I know about suicide prevention I learned as a volunteer at the VA.  We were given training in order to spot and prevent suicidal tendencies.  The powerpoint included many graphs that drew a grim picture of the rise in military suicide.  The number killing themselves had already surpassed the number killed in battle, and the line was hyperbolic.  They also showed us the most at risk groups by state, age, and other demographics.  They showed us how many Vets had committed suicide within days of a visit to a VA facility.  They showed us in scientific and very graphic terms how seriously they were failing to prevent suicide.  At the end of the factual part of the presentation they told us the solution for all involved was trust the VA.  They said if we reported the suicidal patient to the VA they would make sure it would be handled professionally.  They saw no irony in showing us how miserably they were failing, and then asking us to trust them.  I had worked with them for years, and had not seen them execute reasonable care for the patients I visited.  My guys were frustrated and unhappy with VA services.  I was unhappy too because it was impossible to upgrade any of them.

My last Vet had been not only vocally suicidal for a long time, but had been allowed to go alone out in traffic with his electric scooter on a busy street.  Demographically, he was in the top percentile of the group most likely to kill themselves.   He lived in a care home, care being the obvious missing feature.  He had problems too numerous to mention that were never solved by his visiting VA social worker who was dispatched to help his with his day to day issues.  My experience trying to help him from within a wasteful, non functional  system funded by my tax dollars made me feel angry and hopeless.  They asked us to report problems with the Vet’s care, but then did nothing to remedy the problems.  I had to eventually resign from the program because it made me feel much worse knowing how the Vets are really treated.  To say it left a bitter taste in my mouth is an understatement.  I need to remedy that.

It is never a good idea to go around with a bitterness. Some bloggers I admire and want to emulate are promoting a fund raising effort for Suicide Prevention Week, Sept 8-14, 2013.  Funds raised in this campaign will be used to keep the IamAlive hotline open 24 hours a day.  I am proud to support this effort.  Suicide is not a personal problem as much as society’s issue, especially when our retired and active duty service members are so much at risk.  This simple fundraiser benefits any and everyone who may be in a moment of terror.  That could be anyone, any time.

Tyrant or Weakling, the Shadow King

August 20, 2013 — 7 Comments

In archetypal roles we have potential to play out a positive aspect of a well-known character, such as the king, or play the shadow aspect. The king is such an essential male character in myth and culture that most men see themselves in some way to be a king.  King of the home castle may be the only one, but there is a royal male at some point that will be portrayed by a man.  The inner king and queen relationship, the balance between understanding and wisdom vs discipline and justice is at the heart of any society.  When power is in the hands of weak or corrupt leadership, even within one’s own personality, balance must be restored for the good of society.  When we see the strife in Syria and Egypt today it looks like the end of civilization.

The war and economic destruction still rampant in the world is the collective consciousness struggling with this ruling authority.  I wonder, when I watch my neighbors as well as rioting middle easterners, if the earth will perish in flames sometime soon.  Radioactivity is spewing out of Japan and sewage rolling into rivers all over the globe.  When post apocalyptic themes are portrayed in fiction they seem too close to reality today.  I love the movie Tank Girl which is a parody about authority, power, and the use of resources.  Tank Girl is part of a severely abused underclass, dominated by the all-powerful utility company.  They control all resources, except the resourcefulness of Tank Girl herself.

Respecting Religion

August 19, 2013 — 1 Comment

In 1469 in what is now Pakistan, the Sikh religion was born in the form of a teacher, Guru Nanak.  He was exceptional as a student, grasping deep meaning at an early age.  At this time in history Muslims and Hindus were close and friendly in that part of the world.  His ministry was as a poet and musician, a travelling troubadour.  He began a line of 10 gurus who passed the hymns and stories along to the future generations.  Today Sikhs keep these  traditions alive by teaching their children the ancient shabads.  They welcome visitors to take part if they like, but there is no attempt to convert.  Most Sikhs were born in India to Sikh parents.  Understanding some history and philosophy fosters respect for the religious beliefs and practices of others. The group gathers for a meal after the ceremony, which is social and friendly.

Sikh Gurdwara in Tucson

August 19, 2013 — 1 Comment

I attended the services of the Sikh gurdwara to see and hear my friend Nirviar Kaur Khalsa play her instrument, the taus.  She showed me the beautifully carved string instrument a few weeks ago after the services had concluded.  She practices on the taus about two hours daily to create the background ragas for the shabads she chants for the ceremony.  Her voice is very well practiced to paint these musical pictures of the one, the friend, the eternal guru. The message reminded me of the Sufis, but the service reminded me a lot of  Jews and Catholics.   The music is all in minor keys  (like Jewish music) , and there is no written vocal music. This technique is passed down in person in the same way the Torah is taught in person.  The music itself is the prayer and the meditation for the congregation, not unlike chanting in Latin or Hebrew.  Her vocation to study and revive some of the most ancient shabads is now her passion.  She shares this talent and hard work because she wants to embody inner peace in the Sikh tradition.  Although I am not a Sikh I can appreciate her historical preservation efforts as well as the ideas she promotes in her practice.

I asked some of the congregation how they feel about her dedication to master this ancient art and religious practice from India.  She is very highly praised by everyone.  One lady I had met on my previous visit told Nirvair as she left she wished she could leave a tip for the music, which is a common practice in India.  It is remarkable that she is so committed to her vocation to preserve this tradition here in the United States.  I learned that professional ragis from Phoenix charge $500 a visit to come to your gurdwara and do the music.  Since the entire service is sung the importance of the musical accompaniment is central to the experience.

#AlQaeda Reaches Out for Media Ideas

August 16, 2013 — 2 Comments

Lover Archetype

August 15, 2013 — 2 Comments

The lover archetype is often used in literature, and has both good and evil tendencies.  The lover brings passion and full appreciation to a person, place, or thing.  The shadow lover brings obsessive and self-destructive devotion playing the part of a lover.  Joy, tragedy, and identity arise from this archetype; often personal romance is the central theme in a life.  If dreams and history are examined, we will learn what kind of lovers we really are.  Each romance has two different equal and opposite reactions to each action.  Possessive fantasy is an unhealthy substitute for healthy adult emotions.

Like pendulums swing, we as lovers also swing and revolve around a center of pure, potent, eternal love.  Our human tendencies to project onto others that with which we cannot deal create turbulence in  romance as well as platonic relationships.  The lover who brings to the relationship  a self well loved is more likely to find a lover who also takes care of and appreciates his or her own fine qualities.  If outer trappings like cosmetics, status and wealth are primarily valued, there may come to pass a shocking chill when these things go into decline.  If we depend on another person or group to always agree with us or compliment us we are not very likely to form relationships with much depth or meaning.

If your life story became a romance novel or a movie what kind of lover would you be?  Who would be the hero of the story?  What obstacles would the hero overcome?  Who is the author of your love story? Is it possible that someone else designed  your romantic ideal?

Exodus, a Novel by Geoff Livingston

August 13, 2013 — 4 Comments

I had the pleasure of interviewing Geoff about his process writing his new novel, Exodus.  My brand new Skype recording software may have been the reason our call was frozen a couple of times.  We then proceeded without the recording since the new software has not been tested and it seemed the likely culprit.

Geoff grew up with two journalist parents writing in different styles.  He said the only criticism he has heard so far on his novel came from his dad, who was the editor of the Philadelphia Enquirer.  I wanted to know how he came up with a drama set in Kansas, USA, starring  Jason of the Argonuat fame, in a post apocalyptic world dominated by fundamentalist religious persons.  It must be said that he is a sci fi fan as well as a justice freak.  His use of an historical character from Greek literature is part of a story that was in his head.  He studied European history as a minor in college, so his knowledge of the various forms of fundamentalism that swept through Europe (Inquisition, Crusades, etc) is extensive.  His story is not about race, but about religious fanaticism.  Setting it 300 years into the future makes it clear that the story is fiction.  Using themes that have filled human history with war and drama, Geoff examines how society could totally break bad if the intolerance is not contained.  I am not a fiction reader, but I like Geoff both in print and in person, so I might break the 30 year fiction fast to read Exodus when it comes out August 26 .  Those of you who like steampunk and fiction with a side of political ethics will probably love this book:

Tribal Leadership

August 13, 2013 — 4 Comments

flower sky

flower sky

flower sky

flower sky

flower sky

flower sky

The first invitation I received to join Triberr was from a group of bloggers known as Renaissance Roundtable.  The introduction to bloggers in Europe, Canada, and all over the US was an eye- opener for me.  Our chief retired completely from blogging about a year after I joined.  What was amazing was that the tribe continued to function and amplify each others’ blogs long after the chief retired.  This was a strong testament to the systems built by the Triberr big chiefs.  I had never tried to build a tribe or join others, but decided that a tribe with no chief was not the only place I needed to be. I went to New York last September on the equinox to meet and greet the Triberr creators and learn more about how to use the system.

The Tribeup NYC meetup was everything I had hoped for and more.  I met, in person, some friends I had known only on line for some time.  I was given excellent instruction by several professional bloggers with deep experience in the art and science.  We had a chance to schmooze with each other over some crazy good Haitian food after the educational component.  In retrospect, the social hour was a high point to connect in real life with New Yorkers I will not see again any time soon.  The speakers all gave superb presentations that stuck with me as I went home to build my own tribes.

I am now working to create and join active enthusiastic tribes.  I see that bloggers come and go, sometimes active, sometimes quiet.  Some tribes have few bloggers and many followers( whose work is not shared by the tribe), indicating a one way expectation.  Other tribes show members who have not done anything in months.  While there is nothing evil about being dormant within a tribe or as a chief, I have come to appreciate the active and interactive tribal brothers and sisters much more than the one way broadcasters.  My new strategy is to follow tribes that look interesting, and request a membership. I study the member list and see if any members are active.  If the chief does not give me a membership after a few weeks of sharing the tribal posts, I quit and invite all the interesting and active sharing bloggers to my tribe.  As in real life, it only makes sense to go where your peeps are.  Triberr makes this simple, but not automatic.  My next important role to fill in life is that of an inspiring and uplifting chief, leading my tribe to blogging mastery.  The sky is now the limit.