Assbook, Social Media Platform for the Obtuse

July 20, 2013 — 10 Comments

vortex

energy

ligth

I have heard much ado about civility online lately. I agree that there has been a lapse in good manners in the comments and discussions taking place.  I participate in many social media platforms happily now.  In the past I have connected with people who do not have the slightest interest in me, but would like to add me to the list of recipients of their highly ill-matched sales pitches.  It took me some time to figure out how to avoid them in the first place, but I removed the ability they had to communicate with me.  I have learned from experience how to detect and eliminate the one way, all selly-sell-sell relationships in the bud.  I have also learned by being the recipient how to offend and run off potential business with an obtuse view of how media works for everyone.  I was taught by the best to be a Trust Agent, but only after a few years of practice do I grasp what that means. Basically, to be trusted one can not be seen as a selfish ass.  To make sure you are not seen as an ass, refrain from all infantile negative activity on-line.  Everyone acts stupid with friends and family in person, in context, and frequently at home.  Let that be your only venue for assholic behavior. You will get you immediate retribution from those live folks in a fully appropriate karmic way that will not require the attention of the public….no need to tweet us about it….just keep it to yourselves.

I propose that those of you who insist that social media platforms exist to assist you in poisoning the water for everyone form your own social network.  Assboook could be a place for meaningless promotion and insincere influence credit.  To exchange +A with others will be a form of building and defining influence as an on line jerk.  Categories of influence, and groups aligned with these special interests will show Assbook members where to go to find the most meaning:

• MLMs
• Coaching
• Social media experts
• Narcissism
• Bacon

The only reason to include bacon is that no social media platform could ever expect to be popular without at least a little #bacon.