Wish List

November 19, 2013 — 5 Comments

Wishing for gifts changes over time.  The kinds of things we want and what we believe we will gain from them may become more complex, or more simple than in childhood. When giving gifts my style is to prefer to share an experience, like a meal, a concert or class. When receiving I am the same.  I have so much physical stuff I can’t really imagine owning more.  The burden of taking care of worldly goods eventually comes with diminishing returns.  Sometimes we are sentimental about objects and cling to them because they remind us of a person, place, or event.  Certain things we made ourselves are important beyond reason because they mark our proficiency at a certain time. Things require space and some attention.  As we acquire more stuff and it all needs attention, we may be loosing something more than just usable space.

I was very impressed the first time I studied with the Dalai Lama of Tibet in 1993.  He gave us Buddhist teachings as well as his own point of view.  One of the outstanding exercises I have always remembered from that teaching was about acquisition.  He said:

• Notice how you feel about an object when you fist notice it and it creates desire in you
• Notice what longing for the object feels like
• Notice what your feeling is at the moment you acquire the desired thing
• Check back and notice how you feel after you have owned it for some time

He wanted us to be aware that the thrill is usually much diminished as soon as the object becomes our own.  After owning something for a while we notice that it did not give us the total satisfaction we had expected from it.  This is called buyer’s remorse..it is also called attachment.  So caveat emptor all you little elves out there; Once you have your thing you will have to deal with it and find a place to put it.