Lover Archetype

August 15, 2013 — archetypes, lover, romance

The lover archetype is often used in literature, and has both good and evil tendencies.  The lover brings passion and full appreciation to a person, place, or thing.  The shadow lover brings obsessive and self-destructive devotion playing the part of a lover.  Joy, tragedy, and identity arise from this archetype; often personal romance is the central theme in a life.  If dreams and history are examined, we will learn what kind of lovers we really are.  Each romance has two different equal and opposite reactions to each action.  Possessive fantasy is an unhealthy substitute for healthy adult emotions.

Like pendulums swing, we as lovers also swing and revolve around a center of pure, potent, eternal love.  Our human tendencies to project onto others that with which we cannot deal create turbulence in  romance as well as platonic relationships.  The lover who brings to the relationship  a self well loved is more likely to find a lover who also takes care of and appreciates his or her own fine qualities.  If outer trappings like cosmetics, status and wealth are primarily valued, there may come to pass a shocking chill when these things go into decline.  If we depend on another person or group to always agree with us or compliment us we are not very likely to form relationships with much depth or meaning.

If your life story became a romance novel or a movie what kind of lover would you be?  Who would be the hero of the story?  What obstacles would the hero overcome?  Who is the author of your love story? Is it possible that someone else designed  your romantic ideal?