#NaPoWriMo Rutabaga, Satan’s Own Root Vegetable #VeggiePoetry

April 14, 2017 — #NaPoWriMo, #veggiepoetry, beet poetry, poem, root vegetables, rutabaga, veggie from hell

The devil’s favorite veggie

The Holy Ones created all the root vegetables, the ground provisions,
Then scattered them across the earth to feed man and beast
The French got all the radishes, the Russians got the beets
Yams and sweet potatoes grew all over the southern lands
Generously rewarding any farmer who buried them in sand
Ireland had plenty of potatoes, until crop failure let them down
Turnips were pickled in pink brine, prized in Middle Eastern towns
The devil slipped in and made away with the rutabaga on his fork
He took it to the underworld, where his finest vintage he uncorked
I will send you back to the mortals, but with a distinctive smell
There will be no doubt when you are cooked that you have been to hell

He sent them all to Scandinavia, where they are lucky to grow anything to eat

The people all said hallelujah these giant turnips are delicious and sweet

(Then they pissed on some fish and buried it in the frozen ground for a few months)

Today’s poem in #NaPoWriMo is dedicated to my erstwhile roommate from South Carolina.  Her parents had a truly awesome garden, and her mom made the best canned tomatoes in the universe.  However, they also grew the evil rutabaga, which she imported to our North Carolina home, and cooked. The first time I smelled it I thought a dog had died in the house.  It left a lasting impression.  When I learned there is such a thing as #VeggiePoetry I knew I had to try at least one during April. Tune in to these and other poems at the #NaPoWriMo site.   Don’t be shy.  Write an ode to a veggie you love…or detest..you may find the #veggiepoet within.